Monday, October 5, 2009

blah blah blah

WOW its weird I was too busy updating my facebook business page (sort of) look at the top of this page and you will see it and if you arent already be my fan LOL how I love groupies hee hee

Anyways I had a pretty good weekend I tatted quite a bit of course hubby forced me to sit he could see my leg was hurting, not that he actually DID anyting here but it was nice to relax but today I had a pile of stuff to do I still need to get the laundry going but that could possibly wait until tomorrow... Well I started the laundry LOL I had to. Anyways I have lots to blog about today but dont know where to start. Maybe a few postings would be best.

Saturday we had my mother in law over for lunch. She is in a nursing home and has dimentia. She was a bit worse this time compared to the last time she was here. The kids were a bit upset they wanted to play cards with her and she kept throwing them around and doing some silly things. Nate asked me yesterday "you know how mema usually smiles alot at us" I said yea he then said "she didnt do it this time, does that mean she dosent like us now?" OMG I didnt know what to say its not easy to deal with. I told him she loves him very much and she was just extra tired? I didnt know what to say :( it gets harder and harder on them when she comes and they see her worse than the time before.

I did end up tatting quite a bit Saturday and Sunday it was nice. I will show that in another post...

I had lost a book I had recieved from my friend Gail when I first started to tat its the Learn How Book... I lost this book over 4 years ago when we moved to the new house (just up the hill from the old one) I searched high and low for this book I mean EVERYWHERE after awhile I just thought  :( I lost it. Well for some reason today I was walking past a pile of books my kids drug out of their room and low and behold I seen it peeking out from the pile I was HAPPY!! I dont really understand why they had it I asked many times about it but mysteriously NO ONE seen it lol

I had a bit of a rough day yesterday. Its weird I can go quite awhile with being happy then all of a sudden BOOM I get on this I dont want to say depressed stage but I was feeling really down in the dumps and worthless. I always feel like this, I feel I am never good enough, I feel I dont ever do good etc...
Hubby just held me and told me how wonderful I am and how proud of me he is... PROUD? for what I asked he said "you are you" look at all you do, take care of us, especially when you are not feeling well, you are tatting, you design, you dye thread, you have written books for tatting, you are creative, and you love me despite all my goofy ways... (tear) wow I cried like a baby and felt a little better. I dont know why I do this to myself.  Yes I am overweight, I 'think' I am not the best looking and I always feel like a loser. But in reality I am sucessful, for the most part my kids are happy and healthy we are happy and healthy. Yea money is an issue but who dosent have that problem these days. I guess we all need our days of drama and self pity now and then I had mine so I am good for awhile LOL I am so greatful to friends who privately message and email me when I am in my funk, their wonderful words always make me smile and feel good...
ok on to the tatting post lol

1 comment:

Miranda said...

I'm glad you're feeling better, and may I add that you also write an awesome blog.

I know what you mean about your MIL. We're going through the same thing with my step-grandpa. It's so frustrating and heartbreaking. Maybe your kids can understand that the way she's acting now isn't her, it's the disease.